My Healing Journey In The Wilderness With Jesus: Part One!
- Audreanna Delamar

- Aug 2, 2020
- 6 min read
Updated: Aug 2, 2020

Beautiful Woman Of God,
I know firsthand how difficult it can be to let go of the pains of your past! Especially when you do not know how to let it go or how to be healed from all the pain you suffered through in your life! I struggled immensely with trying to let go of my past and struggled with the idea of forgetting everything that had happened to me. The idea of being completely free from the pain seemed impossible until I met Jesus and He lead me into the wilderness!!! In that season of my life, my life was crumbling around me, nothing was going the way I wanted it to, and my heart was shattering into tiny pieces at all that I was facing and from of all the pain that I was carrying in my heart from my past. I was so tired of carrying the weight of all the pain in my heart and in my mind and I desperately wanted to be free so that I could enjoy my life. But the pain from my past left me chained to every painful moment that I had experienced and it crowded out the belief and hope that I could be free from it all until Jesus came to rescue me!
Healing from the pains of my past became a reality when Jesus came to rescue me!
Jesus met me right in the middle of my pain and heartache and He surrounded me with His everlasting love and kindness (Psalm 5:12)!!! He gave me the love I needed to live! Because for so many years of my life my heart hungered and thirsted for my family's love and acceptance! I wanted so badly to be known, seen, heard, valued, appreciated,and treasured by them. But they could not give me the love that my heart so desperately needed simply because my family had not experienced the unfailing love of Jesus! Although my family had given their lives to Christ and received His salvation, they had yet to discover and experience the power of the Lord's love, grace, and His goodness that He long to give to them through the power of His Spirit (Ephesians 3:18)! Which was why I always came up empty every time I tried to earn their love because I was digging from a well that was always dry!
But the Lord, seeing all that I had suffered through, came for me just like He came for the Samaritan woman at the well and satisfied my heart with His love by the power of His spirit in the wilderness (John 4:4-14)! As the the Lord lead me into the wilderness to pour out His love and goodness upon me, I was kicking and screaming in defiance because I thought I needed the love of people to be happy, satisfied, and content! But truly no one could ever fulfill and satisfy my heart like the Lord! During my time with Jesus in the wilderness, which was a season of intense worship, weeping, and prayer, the Lord pursued me with his love and kindness in amazing ways as I worshiped Him. He drew me in close unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life, and His love began to heal me and restore me in supernatural ways! I had always heard of the Lord's love, but I had never experienced His love like I did in the wilderness!
One pivotal moment that I experienced in the wilderness, was when I was worshiping to Have it all by Brian Johnson ( Bethel Music) and He opened my eyes to see in the Spirit, in a vision, His Hand still with the Holes from His crucifixion reaching out to me! In that moment He began to impress heavily upon my heart, whispering these words “I died for you to come close to me! I have torn the veil that has separated us so that you can come close to me! You do not have to be afraid! You do not have to feel as though you need to be perfect, without sin, to come to me! You can come close!” His words of love and acceptance captivated me and drew me in deeply. I became captivated by His love and the more I tasted His love all my pain began to melt away by the warmth of His spirit and the wonder of His love( Matthew 27:51; Hebrews 4:16; Ephesians 2:11-22; Ephesians 3:12; Hebrews 6:19: Hebrews 10:19-25).
In my season of healing in the wilderness with Jesus, He proved to me that He will always be more than enough for me and that He is all that I will ever need!! He also redeemed my heart when He revealed to me that I did not need to base His love and goodness for me on how people treated me! Which really set my heart free, because most of my pain from my past was from how my family had treated me! At that moment, the Lord truly had won my heart and I became head over heels in love with Him!! I begged him earnestly to remain close to me in this way! Because that season of my life was truly beautiful! I will never forget my time with him there in the wilderness. The Lord had done amazing things in my heart and in my mind! He was healing me and restoring me with His love, and I did not feel stuck to chains of my past because He continued to give me the love I desperately needed and gave me hope in my soul for His amazing future for my life! He was always there to comfort me when I needed him the most, especially when fear would grip my heart and I would began to doubt his promise of healing, during the times my circumstances and the difficult situations of my life would trigger the pains of my past. As I struggled to trust Him, He treated me with such love, patience, and kindness and He would always strengthen and comfort my heart with His promise that when He had healed me that the pains of my past would be a distant memory, and I can truly say that He is truly fulfilling His promise to me!!
I am so grateful to the Lord for leading me into the wilderness with Him because I am no longer angry, bitter, or resentful from all that pain that I experienced in my past. I most certainly do not relive those painful memories of my past like I did before over and over in my head. He truly set me free and He is keeping me free!! My past is no longer dictating my life and my choices! The Lord delivered me from the pain that I experienced in my past and He will surely do the same for you!! So pour out your heart to the Lord and give all that pain that you suffered through to the Lord and let Him heal you (Psalm 62:8: Psalm 107:20)!! He does not want you to be weighed down by the pains of your past. He wants to raise you up from the pit of despair that the pain of your past left you in and give you hope for your future (Psalm 40:2; Jeremiah 29:11)! Because, He desires to fill your life with good things and satisfy you in every way (Psalm 103:5; Psalm 145:16)!
So run to Jesus and drink of His living water so that you will be full of His love, joy, and peace! Let Him satisfy the hunger and thirst of your heart and let Him give you the life you never thought you would experience (John: 4:14; John 10:10; Psalm 91:15). Because He wants to do a new thing in your life and He wants to establish his good plans for your life( Isaiah 43:19; Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 138:8). So that you can experience His goodness for your former misery and enjoy your life to the fullest (Psalm 91:15).
Scripture Of Encouragement
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.
Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)
Song Of Encouragement



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